


Hidden Affection

by highqualityziam



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Bottom Zayn, Cheating, Fluff and Smut, Hidden Relationship, Infidelity, Liam has a girlfriend, Light Angst, M/M, Riding, Sad, Secret Relationship, Top Zayn, cheating liam, closeted Liam, kind of sad with a happy ending, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 17:52:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13440087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/highqualityziam/pseuds/highqualityziam
Summary: Zayn leaves paint to dry as he falls back into the pattern of ending up in Liam's arms.





	Hidden Affection

It's easier at Zayn's flat, but sometimes it doesn't happen that way. Sometimes they end up at Liam's because it's closer to the diner they frequent. This time it was because Liam's girlfriend had just left after an argument, and she said Liam was being an asshole, and naturally, Liam felt bad about himself and he missed Zayn, and he sent a quick "come over" text, and that was all they ever needed.

So Zayn's phone dinged on the counter as his fingers were covered in paint as he messily filled a 8x10 canvas he'd found under his bed. He leaned over to look as the air was illuminated above his phone on the table. With the light of his screen bright compared to the yellow lamp on his table, the name "Liam" was bright and beautiful above the message. So Zayn scrubbed his hands the best he could to answer the message, and left the canvas and the drying palette abandoned on his table as he threw a jacket over his sweater and left.

Zayn sighed to himself as he drove the familiar path to Liam's apartment, and like every time he drives it, he remembered when he used to drive here, and how it didn't mean anything. But now, as he turns onto Liam's street, he's met with how no one else knows he's here, because 1). Liam has a girlfriend, 2). Liam's straight, 3). Liam doesn't fuck guys, and 4). He doesn't fuck Zayn. Except- 1). he does, 2). he isn't, 3). he does, and 4). he definitely does.

Zayn pulls up and parks, the cold metal of the key harsh against his fingertips as he pulls it from the ignition. As he gets out of the car, Zayn's layers of clothing don't feel like enough in the cold afternoon of February, and his walk up the steps to Liam's flat feels like a lie. Especially as his secret key slips easily into the lock like it did last week. Zayn gets in and locks both locks, because it makes him feel safe. Zayn starts to take a step further, but Liam rushes in from the other room, and Zayn's back finds the door as Liam's warmth crowds his space. However, it's not demanding nor invasive, it's gentle touches- Liam's thumb tracing Zayn's brow and his cheek bone and running along his lip. Liam's voice is so fucking gentle as he says,  
"I missed you." The words are so heavy. The words are packed full with confessions of love and self hatred, but Zayn understands, so he kisses Liam's hand and nods.

If things were different, Zayn would feel used when Liam moves to kiss him. But Zayn understands. Zayn knows that Liam hates it- hates hiding his affection for the boy. Zayn knows that's Liam feels shame with every kiss. But Zayn also knows what their kisses feel like, so he understands when Liam deepens it. The only thing that Zayn has a hard time to understanding is why Liam is still with his girlfriend. He knows that Liam's parents would wonder why he's single, he knows that Liam would feel bad for ending things, but Zayn also knows that what they're doing together is hurtful to her. But Zayn also remembers how it felt to be ashamed of his attraction to boys, so he supposes that it makes sense. It's just hard when he can only touch Liam in the dark or when they're shut in a flat where no one knows they're there.

Zayn remembers the first time, when they're fingers were shaky and it went too quick. But now, Liam's kissing down Zayn's neck, sucking a mark into his skin- something only Liam can do, Zayn learned that quickly one night, before Liam muttered how sorry he was. But Zayn's skin is on fire nevertheless. Liam pulls away for a moment, his hand pushing up Zayn's sweater, his thumbs pressing down onto Zayn's hipbones,  
"D'you get in okay?"

Zayn nodded,  
"I don't wanna talk about the traffic, Li," there's a soft smile on his face, but there's a hint of aggravation and Liam chuckles around it into the warm skin of Zayn's neck.

They get Zayn's jacket off and they abandon it on the floor along with his rucksack and keys. Zayn kicks off his vans and pulls Liam in by his waistband because he fucking can, and kisses him hard on the mouth, biting his lip and pulling back, taking a deep breath and Liam knows- he knows that Zayn is deep in his head and deep in the guilt, and it's written all over Liam's face that it's getting to him too, but he can't fucking stand it. So he's pulling Zayn with him, pulling him into his bedroom. The door is closed and Zayn's sweater is off, and his nipples are fucking cold and Liam laughs at him for it and Zayn loves him so much. But Liam's determined to get Zayn out of his head, and Zayn is on his back, laying on Liam's bed- Liam's bed where she lays all the fucking time.

Liam follows Zayn down and kisses along his stomach, and the boys heart is jumping out of his chest because it's so much to handle. He wants this to be happening, he wants Liam everywhere. But he almost fucking cries as his head turns and smells perfume. His head snaps forward and he can't help but to grab the spare pillow and chuck it across the room. Liam definitely notices, and he looks so sad, but he just kisses along Zayn's skin and licks the skin at the bottom of his stomach, and Zayn snaps out of his trance and watches Liam's lips as they drag on his skin. Zayn's out of breath already because Liam just naturally does that to him. Liam's unbuttoning the boys jeans in seconds, pulling them off of his body. Zayn taps Liam's shoulder and Liam knows to remove his own hoodie, his skin smooth for Zayn's eyes to obsess over as he feels his own boxers sliding down and off his legs.

Zayn remembers the first time Liam sucked his cock. It was over a month ago by now. Zayn had had a really bad day and called Liam and told him he wanted to see him. Liam had been all gentle words and soft hands as he caressed Zayn's hair and let him vent about his day, but when Zayn got overwhelmed and began to cry, Liam was quick to kiss his cheek and down his whole body until he was giving his first blowjob. It was messy and it wasn't the best- but Zayn fucking lost it when he watched Liam's lips stretch around his cock like that. It was perfect- and it had only happened again once since then, but both times were rushed and unsure. However, by now, Liam knew what Zayn liked and he knew that Zayn was weak for it.

However, this time, Liam was doing it in attempt to apologize for how their relationship is- how it's hidden, how it's fucked up. Zayn bites down at his lip as he watches Liam lick up his underside, bending his knees as he weakly wishes for Liam to be closer. Liam looks up at him, as he puts Zayn's tip into his mouth and slides his hand down the underside of Zayn's thigh, running his tongue strategically around Zayn's tip as he shudders. Zayn runs his hand down Liam's cheek and moves up to hold onto the boy's head as he moves up and down, taking Zayn deeper as he grips his thighs. Liam's hand runs up Zayn's torso and his thumb runs along his nipple, and back down to wrap around Zayn's cock. Zayn's panting and he mutters,  
"Babe- I'm- fuck," and he knows he's close, but Liam hums-which is beautiful against him, but he pulls back and runs his hands down Zayn's thighs again.

Liam pulls off the boy and mutters,  
"Really wanna fuck you tonight, babe."

Zayn nods and he's out of breath as he laughs but he spreads his legs and mutters,  
"Yeah, okay."

Liam's gone for a second but he's back before Zayn can think, and he slicks up his fingers and presses one to Zayn's rim, sliding in as Zayn sucks in a breath and relaxes his shoulders against the mattress. Liam kisses him and slides his tongue between Zayn's lips as he slides his finger deeper and Zayn exhales.

Zayn feels himself relax and works to focus on Liam's lips and his voice as he whispers encouragements into his skin as he scissors Zayn open with two fingers. Liam drags his teeth along Zayn's neck and leans back enough to watch Zayn as he curls his own fingers within the boy. Zayn's voice breaks into a moan and he digs his nails into Liam's shoulders, muttering,  
"There."

Liam repeats the action as he pushes past the rim with his third finger, and Zayn clenches around his fingers, closing his eyes tightly as he tries to relax, sighing when Liam's fingers work to distract his body from the stretch. If it weren't for the sensation, Zayn would be focusing on the memory of the first time Liam fingered him, and how he'd come apart after minutes because Liam found his spot so quickly, and how oversensitive and exhausted he'd felt in the boy's arms. But now, he focuses on the drag of Liam's fingertips within him, and how close he feels to the man. Zayn licks his lips and mutters,  
"I'm good."

Liam kisses his chest and curls his fingers one last time nevertheless, slowly pulling his fingers out and sliding the condom on, lubricating himself. Zayn chewed on his lip and sat up on his knees,  
"Wanna ride you."

Liam nodded quickly and moved to rest his pillow against the wall and lean against it. Zayn moved forward and straddled Liam's thighs, pressing a kiss to his lips and wrapping a hand around Liam's dick as their lips dragged together. Zayn felt as Liam's hand gripped his thighs, trying not to rush him. Zayn bit his lip and nodded knowingly, moving forward and guiding Liam's cock to his hole, slowly moving down until Liam was completely inside of him.

As all of Zayn's senses were heightened, Zayn's nails dug into Liam's chest- taking deep breaths to adjust. It had been over a week, so he had to slow down and focus on breathing properly, Liam's hands gripping the sheets below him in attempt to refrain from jerking his hips up. After a minute or two, Zayn spread his legs farther and slowly rolled his hips, grinding onto Liam, his hand slowly holding onto the back of Liam's neck, the boy dragging kisses along Zayn's neck.

All the other times Zayn's been fucked open by Liam, he's made a point in his mind to avoid thinking about the fact that Liam's girlfriend gets fucked by him too. Except now, when Liam's nails are dug into his hips, most likely leaving a bruise, Zayn focuses on riding Liam so fucking well, better than his girlfriend could dream of. So Zayn's hips speed up in the slightest, lifting up and dropping down completely, his head back as he focuses on the drag of Liam's cock inside of him. Liam holds onto Zayn's hips and thrusts upward to meet Zayn's movements, leaving the boy breathless. Zayn finds himself moaning and leaning forward to watch as Liam chewed on his lip, his cheeks red as he thrusted forward. However, as Zayn leaned forward and the air became thick and the angle of his cock changed, Liam relaxed against the pillow behind him, still weakly holding Zayn's hips, but mesmerized at Zayn's intense stare as he moves his thumb to drag Liam's lip from between his teeth, slipping between his lips as his other thumb moved to Liam's chest to play with his nipple. Liam stifled a whine but muttered,  
"How do you- fuck- do this to me?"

Zayn held Liam's face in his hands and brought their lips together as he rolled his hips down, Liam's breathing becoming heavier, his cheeks red. Zayn could tell he was close as his thrusts became harder. Zayn took a shallow breath, his moans uncontrollably spilling from his lips, his body spasming as Liam held Zayn's hips down as he thrusted up one last time, spilling into the boy. Zayn gasped and came undone across Liam's stomach, clenching around Liam's over sensitive cock, seeing white as he dug his nails into Liam's shoulders. He took a few deep breaths, sliding his hands down Liam's chest, only moving away long enough to let Liam pull out, resuming his position to press lazy kisses to Liam's neck.

Once the high has passed, Zayn crawls off of Liam, worried the contact will grow cold. The only thing cold are the sheets against his warm skin, his back to the boy who just managed to slow his breathing. It's a few seconds before Zayn can. However, after a few minutes have passed, and the exhaustion is wearing on Zayn, he almost feels his eyes close, when he hears Liam mutter, barely above a whisper,  
"I'm gonna break up with her."

Zayn's heart drops in his chest, and he feels exhilarated, but he also feels very overwhelmed and confused, so with teary eyes and a shaky voice, he mutters,  
"Okay."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! So I know I haven't posted in forever, but I've been dealing with some emotional stuff and a heavy workload at school, but I want to get back into writing! Please leave feedback! Love you guys.


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